Hi! it’s been a while since I write. Well, I figure writing down tasks and assignments wouldn’t be included on that discourse.
I’ve always wanted to do this challenge, though, apalagi I used to call myself a writer. Lol. What is a writer without her writings, right?
I’d like to describe myself as “always being on the edge” and honest to god, I never liked being like that. Tense. Anxious. Occupied. I realized that I’ve always been in a rush to do something. All my life, I see the word mindfulness as a really cliche word, overused, overrated. But maybe that’s just because I lack the understanding of the word.
I hide behind my pseudo-identity; being someone who was born with the Sun in Capricorn and Virgo in Rising. Yes, I chose to box myself with astrology because they’re fun. They give me hope.
I’m sorry, you must be wondering what the sun and the rising sign have to do with my personality. The truth is, Capricorn and Virgo are both earth signs; which people always judge as the tense kinds. the always serious ones. the overthinking ones. the always come prepared ones. And I said amen to that, because “that’s just who I am”.
But in my 24th year of living, I want to learn to be freer. I want to let go of the tenses, the anxiety.
My boyfriend always tell me to be more cynical, to not be gullible. I too agree on most of it; I want to be someone who’s more charming. more firm on what she wants and sticks to it. Someone who’s inspiring and convincing.
But on the other hand, listening to this particular episode of Thirty Days of Lunch, (it brought tears to my eyes while I was jogging) made me realize that above all, kindness is a priority. Of course there are still many people who would purposely take advantage of our kindness; but I think I wouldn’t mind that much. I won’t be the one who takes the damages after that.
So yeah, in the wake of the new year spirit, I would like to focus myself to be a more assertive — yet kind, prepared — yet loose kind of person.
oh and also, more mindful.
Here’s to all that.
